I have so much to say, but no words; just a scattered brain.

I'm in love with a sophomore. There. I said it. We should have kissed under those fireworks...
I'm really one of the suckiest bloggers out there. Like... Everything I blog about is completely pointless. You know?
I cried when I saw her family today. I flat out cried. I felt like such a witch. If I could say sorry without looking like a fool.... I actually probably should have done that months ago.... I would. Oh well. Just know I cried.
If you don't have the opportunity to be on a team during Highschool, you are seriously missing out. Seriously.
It makes me totally overjoyed that my old coaches follow me everywhere. Boy, do I miss them. I want them back in my life more than I want my best friend... And that's saying something cause I really miss him.
Oh the subject of that.. I get into these moments I like to call "two minute moments". I feel sad and helpless for two minutes, I might shed a tear, and then I'm over it. Mostly they're over that one guy I used to know. Or my friend whose very kindly became present in my life again.
I'm always making plans with this one kid, but every time they get cancelle! It's awful! The universe just doesn't want us to be friends!
I suddenly want to to read Enders Game? I hate that book??




Hey, I'm a little bit random.


... And she was so sorry.

The way I see it.

I hate the way my weight controls my happiness. It creeps in every thought, in every pair of jeans. It's there in my swimsuit, no swimsuit, tops, bottoms, shoes, food, the mirror- every single place my eyes or my brain rest.

I just need to workout. I need to work out for a whole 24 hours; I need to sweat from every pore of my body, and I need to see immediate results.

It all sounds so snobby and selfish, but it's just me. My weight and my skin were the things making me carefree... Because they were good. But all I think about is my WEIGHT! It's the most confidence- tearing thing in my life, and I HATE it. I hate the pressure we have to look a certain way; but mostly I hate the pressure I put on myself to look a certain way.

I need stress in my life to burn it all off.


Do you think there's something wrong with me?? Am I sick?? Or am I just exercise deprived?



Just for the record, I hate this feeling.

Happy 4th, darling

We got crafty :)


.... Spot the Mormons!


We drove around town looking for parking so we could watch fireworks. And while doing that/ slash after that, I realized a few things. One) fireworks are the most beautiful thing ever. Two) I remember why I wouldn't let myself care about you; because it feels like this once you stop caring about me. Three) interesting as it might be, I think I might hit that up. I mean.... Maybe I won't have to. But I'd really love it if it could work. K, thanks. Four) boys, just stay away. I'm not falling for anyone ever again. Don't make me remember those feelings, no matter how shallow they might be. Five) I have chapped lips 95% of the time. Six) when you have to pee really bad, being a girl gets really inconvenient. Seven) I. Am. Not. A. Family. Person. At all.



... And the words "just leave me be" were the last to that chapter. Chapter two:...

Yes or No??

Top 3 biggest fears

1. Earthquakes
2. Fires
3. Getting prego without doing the dirty.

Number 2 is happening way too frequently and way too close to my home for comfort. AND IT'S WINDY!! I don't think anyone understands how badly I'm freaking out about this fire. I'm shaking and my heart is racing and I'm making sure I finish Lost before my house is burned to a crisp.

I don't think I'm brave enough to handle the second coming; all that fire and the shaking of the earth... Eep. I guess this is just a preview. Wonderful.


.... And she packed her things for a quick get away #FiresScareMe #HashtagsOnTheBlog #TwitterAddict