Those unpleasant feelings.

You know when you feel embarrassed, but you don't let it show? It's a feeling deep inside, and you feel like the whole world just knows you're vulnerable? And you can't speak because you know whatever comes from your mouth will be awkward?? You know that feeling?


The problem with me is that I live too in the moment. Meaning, I don't think about how my actions, words, and conversations are going to affect me in just a few short hours. It's a weakness I tell myself I'll over come every time I'm done paying for one fat-mouthed response, but I brush that off the next time, always telling myself "this time will be different. This time I won't regret it".

I have yet to experience a moment like that.

Tonight would be a good example of this. A good example X3.

I feel embarrassed about him, about showing up, and about that kiss.

I'm doing a cleanse tomorrow. No messages, no twitter, no pinterest... No phone. I need a day to keep myself out of trouble.

I get attention. People know me. I don't to seek after it even more... I'm still grasping at that.


I thought you were better than that.
I DID take that personally.
That was low, even for you.
I'm sorry everyone but me is pressuring you into this.

This night didn't exist.

Tah.

The season of dance asking

It's that time of year again! Yes, the time for boys to buck up the courage to ask that pretty girl they've had their eye on since the last dance. For girls to go out and buy all types of sparkles, and glitter, and all things that shine. And of course that gorgeous dress that will make every other girl around them envious. It's time for HOMECOMING :)

I am very exited to go with Mr. Charming, that boy I've had my eye on, the boy I've been dress shopping for for weeks :)

He just needs to ask me. Come out of hiding, first, actually.

There is a fella I would LOVE to go with. But I've only been an admirer. He does know who I am, and he did sound interested, but if we haven't even talked... What makes me think he'll ask me to homecoming?? The faith I put in my dear, dear friends.

And he is quite the charmer, let me tell you :) the style is what entices me the most, naturally. The hair, though.. I'm a fan of that hair. So, please, Mr. Stranger, ask me to homecoming :) we'd be the best dressed couple there.

The affect of Europe

1) my dads from Scotland, my Nan from England, all my cousins in wales, Scotland, and Germany. Me.. America
2) I've been given the opportunity to go for a month in June, then my family will meet up with me in Scotland in July. Trip breakdown: fly into Scotland, stay for a few days. Go down to wales, stay a few days. head over to Germany, stay for a week. Drive down to France with my auntie and spend time there. Go back to Scotland and spend three more weeks for a family reunion.
3) AP Euro history: man. I've only been twice and I'm obsessed. I love it. We were asked where we would go in Europe on the first day, and, without hesitation, I said wales. I LOVE IT THERE. LOVE IT.
4) we had friends over for dessert tonight that have lived all over Europe their whole lives. They moved here a year ago from Switzerland. Oh. My. Gosh. They are so fortunate to live how they have!! They're thinking about living in Singapore next... And my jaw drops just thinking about it!! Jenny and Justine are going to china in 7 weeks.. Just for fun. My dad has thousands on miles, but he won't use them. Which I sooooo annoying!!
5) I'm just obsessed. I love it!


I mean I kinda sound spoiled, but I'm not. If I were, they would have sent me this last summer. I am VERY fortunate though. I'm thankful for the things I have and the things I will get.


Oh. And ps. I turn 18 in two months from TODAY. I'll be able to vote (not for Obama) and I can't wait!!!

Date a girl...

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Me :)