I feel bad when there's someone new in my life because chances are, I'm not going to be attracted to them.
It's nothing with them, it's all me. And who knows why that is.
I just dread the time it takes to get over the awkward first date syndrome and just be normal.
Or in other words, the time it takes to skip to the friend zone.
I'm more comfortable in that place (Except with those very few people I haven't wanted to friend zone. But it never works out).
I was thinking about kissing and how it's almost been a year.
That's kind of a big deal, you know.
I think I've forgotten how to deal with the moments before a kiss, how to kiss, and how to act normal after its happened. I've forgotten completely.
But there is one thing I know:
I don't want to just give it away. I want to kiss someone who means something to me. Not just a first kiss on a date with someone I hardly know. There needs to be a basis, and there needs to be a connection.
This is more important to me than my first kiss ever.
... And it was only them. No one else could put her in that kind of trance.
