Gawl. I miss having school to stress me out. I never expected such an awful thought to enter MY mind before, but it has.
I thrived off of stress. I love having something to do... All the time.
But now that I have full-fledged senoritis, I have nothing to do. School is the easiest thing ever, I don't work enough (no point in looking forward to work anymore, anyway), and I am in a RUT.
Yes, a rut.
As in:
I'm lazy
I don't see myself ever getting out
I'm fat
The only things I think about are males that I can't have
My religious levels are so down it's bad (mainly because I START MY PAPERS TOMORROW)
My fashion sense is shot- I am going to Pinterest to give ME ideas. Me! Of all people on the planet!
I have nothing I even want to wear
My world is one big BLAH.
I've lowered myself to a level to get another's attention, but even by doing so, I don't have their attention. And I hate the feeling it gives me. And I think I just ruined everything by my obnoxiousness. Because boy... I can get obnoxious when I want someone to notice me.
I'm an attention whore. Big time.
As I mentioned, papers are starting tomorrow :) I am very excited for that... But sometimes it really scares me that it's so real and... Happening so fast!
"I don't believe in it. I don't agree with it. But I agree we're all gods children and everyone deserves equality and we need to love everyone and the way they love."
Xx
