I hate the way my weight controls my happiness. It creeps in every thought, in every pair of jeans. It's there in my swimsuit, no swimsuit, tops, bottoms, shoes, food, the mirror- every single place my eyes or my brain rest.
I just need to workout. I need to work out for a whole 24 hours; I need to sweat from every pore of my body, and I need to see immediate results.
It all sounds so snobby and selfish, but it's just me. My weight and my skin were the things making me carefree... Because they were good. But all I think about is my WEIGHT! It's the most confidence- tearing thing in my life, and I HATE it. I hate the pressure we have to look a certain way; but mostly I hate the pressure I put on myself to look a certain way.
I need stress in my life to burn it all off.
Do you think there's something wrong with me?? Am I sick?? Or am I just exercise deprived?
Just for the record, I hate this feeling.
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