THE TRAGEDIES OF A YOUNG GIRLS LIFE:
so. everyone knows I'm on the drill team- or was- and everyone knows that it was my life. i loved waking up at 4:45 to go see my girls, to work my butt off, and to make my coaches, my school, and myself proud. i loved it.
but, every good thing has its downs. and this is mine.
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last night we had our end of the year showcase. this is when we perform all our competition dances and its our clinics for Jr. drill. and we had so much fun! so much fun! it was a great way to end the year.... not. first, i was going to miss my seniors SO much/ second, i wasn't ready to give up my team, and third, i didn't want it to be the last time together. but... all good things have to end.
so right after showcase- we're all happy and bouncing off the walls and trying not to cry- our assistant coach comes in and says she wants to talk to us.
*** now. if you were me, wouldn't you think she was going to tell us how proud her and amber were? yeah, that's what i DID think. boy was i wrong.***
so we all gather 'round. she starts telling us how proud her and amber are and what a privilege it was to work with us this year and how much she's learned from all of it. then she says 'BUT'. uh oh.
"me and amber really love you guys, but as you know, Merrill has been fighting to end this team. we are so sorry to say that we are not coming back next year."
the rest is a blur.
they're gone!! they aren't coming back!!! after all the hard work, the time, the energy..... they aren't coming back. ouch.
so as you can imagine, we're all bawling and saying 'why, why, why', hoping that its not all true; we know it is. we. were. devastated.
as we all eventually shuffle out of the stuffy, moist, sticky locker rooms, we just keep bawling. we go to the gym and find out that it wasn't all Merrill who had cancelled us: it was our coach.
***okay. this is just what i heard. we aren't positive if this part is true, but they've got to have some part in it.***
and that news RIGHT THERE ^^^^, broke me. i bawled, i had to sit down, and it was just the worst thing ever.
***AN EXPERIENCE FROM THE DAY PREVIOUS***
we were all sitting around our coach after clinics. she was telling us about how important it was that we recruit and that we need to get as many girls as possible.... blah, blah, blah. we've heard about a million times by now.
then she asks who's trying out next year; we all raised our hands. except she didn't see mine! you should have seen this women's face. it was like she actually wanted me on her team. she wanted me!! not just my number.... and that was the best feeling: knowing my coach wanted me.
***now, back to last night***
after all that, and we don't have a team. wow. how do you think i felt??? this is what i was feeling:
frustrated that this was happening.
like i wasn't good enough because our coaches quit.
like i needed ibuprofen because my head was splitting.
like i needed the greatest hug I've ever gotten.
like all the things i sacrificed.... were a total waste.
and that this was only my first year. only my first.
we all then proceeded to go out to dinner and we had a marvelous time!! the best way to cure sadness is to laugh :] so that's what we did.
everything will be alright. i pray that it will.
I LOVE MY CAVETTES WITH ALL THAT I AM.....
have a lovely day at school and an even better weekend.
tah// XXX
*and hey! I'm going to prom :]
