You know when you feel embarrassed, but you don't let it show? It's a feeling deep inside, and you feel like the whole world just knows you're vulnerable? And you can't speak because you know whatever comes from your mouth will be awkward?? You know that feeling?
The problem with me is that I live too in the moment. Meaning, I don't think about how my actions, words, and conversations are going to affect me in just a few short hours. It's a weakness I tell myself I'll over come every time I'm done paying for one fat-mouthed response, but I brush that off the next time, always telling myself "this time will be different. This time I won't regret it".
I have yet to experience a moment like that.
Tonight would be a good example of this. A good example X3.
I feel embarrassed about him, about showing up, and about that kiss.
I'm doing a cleanse tomorrow. No messages, no twitter, no pinterest... No phone. I need a day to keep myself out of trouble.
I get attention. People know me. I don't to seek after it even more... I'm still grasping at that.
I thought you were better than that.
I DID take that personally.
That was low, even for you.
I'm sorry everyone but me is pressuring you into this.
This night didn't exist.
Tah.
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