Chloe's random thoughts: i admire you.

While reading a blog post of a dearly loved friend, i realized that she may be one of the strongest people i know. you are amazing. and i look up to you so much.

when it comes to be my turn, i don't how i'm going to handle it. i just hope and pray that maybe, just maybe, i'll take it like you; like a strong girl who is excited about the future, and over looks the bad things. i look up to you so much. you are amazing.

while thinking about my future and what crazy things may happen, i realized that it's time to completely let go. don't be chloe. just totally let go and be free. because i don't think i have ever, not once, done that. i've always been my tightly wound, paranoid, fun sucking self.... too shy to be myself. and i'm not going to keep doing that. tryouts are in a week and half, and i am SO nervous. i'm working on my captains solo this weekend, and THAT is when i must let go and be anything but myself. wish me luck.

i have never looked up to so many people than i do right now. i am so very grateful for the people in my life. you have all taught me so much. whether it be from your mistakes, your trials, or your smiles; everything you do has blessed me richly. i love you.

i am going to stop being jealous. i am going to stop getting mad at people for no reason. i am only going to be excited and optimitic about things.

have a wonderful weekend.
i also hope i have one, too.


tahxxx

And my life begins again starting.....NOW!!!: Cavettes :)

Yaya!!! New coach has finally arrived!!
She's
Young
Blonde
TINY
Amazing dancer!!
AMERICAN FORK DRILL TEAM COACH!!
Her name is McCall Tickson :)
She used to coach Jordan (sucks for Jordan!) but now shes with us!
Iiiiiii have a wonderful feeling about her, some thinks she's too young, but looking at how Jordan did last year: 4th in region, 4th(I think) in state, 1st in nationals!! So she's bound to be good.... Right??
Oh I hope so :)
Yay for bad things!! They only bring better things to you :)

TahXXX

A Certain Friend: I'm real scared for her...

I have this friend...

She means so very much to me.

I am extremely worried that she will do something terrible.

She doesn't think anyone loves her.

Hey:

Everyone loves you, babe!!!

Please listen.

Don't do anything stupid.

I'm just worried.

Just know I'm worried... and I'm not trying to be fake.

I sat for hours just bawling over you.

Believe me.

I love you.

I have this friend...

who i am extremely worried about.

tahXXX

What used to be... is no longer: my best friend.

the best thing about my best friend was the fact that she was always there for me.
we were absolutely INSEPERABLE. I was often referred to as 'the 4th daughter'.
we shared everything!!

secrets.

clothes.

beds.

feelings.

friends.

she was my sister. We fought like it... so therefor it's true.
she was an example to me.
she wasn't my religion... but she was my testimony. she taught me so much.
she was boy crazy :] still is, actually.
she is gorgeous.
she is ursula, brunette fetching whore, stephababe, panda g-string, ephanie bladwin.
(my long lost best friend.)

oh boy do i miss her.
she has changed so much i can't hardly bare to be with her.
maybe thats why i haven't been.......

or maybe it's that boy.

that boy.

baseball.

her equal.

long eyelashes.

shy.

poland.

as much as i wish i loved him.... i can't. i've tried to accept him. accept them.

it's just not working.

hey, best friend:

read this.

come back to me :]

example: we are wearing eachothers clothes from head to toe...

we are photoshoot buddies...

since 7th grade.

she a freak. and i miss her.

tahXXX

Childhoods are fun: my imaginary friend :)

Yesterday was a really bad day for me. Really bad.

It was brought to my attention how bad this world really is and the bad things people do. Stupid things.

So I spent a good part of my day either:

1) feeling like I was going to puke for all those idiotic people, or

2) crying to my best friend about the terrible things I had come to know.

Well... I remembered how easy and fun my childhood was!! And I remembered that I had an imaginary friend!! Yes friends, that is correct :)
her name was Duma :)
she had purple hair with black polka dots
purple skin with black polka dots
and she was part octopus :)
and was kinda part goth...??

Here she is!!!

i am definitely no artist....

as you can probably tell.

but the important part is is that drawing and doodling made me happy.

cause, boy. i was needin it.

dear people of Chloe's blog:

DON'T DO DRUGS!

I CANT EVEN STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

LOVEs.

tahXXX



Post math test boredom....

Have any of my lovely readers ever had a stalker??

No??

Lucky you :)

I am sad to inform you that I do.
I swear some people are so daft! When I don't___________(fill in the blank) to you, I think that means I want you to_______. When I am somewhat very rude to you, that means you__________me. When I __________ __________ you... Take a _______. Let's use our heads :)

Respond.
Annoy.
Purposefully.
Leave.
Hint.
Avoid.

Have a nice life :)

TahXXX

Oh how I love feeling inadequate.

Wanna know one of the hardest things... Ever??
When someone you are extremely close with is better than you on so many different levels. It starts to sting.
I wish it didn't... But it does.
I know I shouldn't feel that way, but how can you help it?! They're so perfect(even though they will argue and argue that they aren't) and then.... I'm not.
Oh I am faaaaaaar from perfect. So far it's sad. And yet.. I'm with the person who makes me feel the worst.
But he makes me feel so GOOD! How can a person make you feel two completely different feelings?? All I know is that I'm so grateful for that person. So beyond grateful. And I am very proud of their accomplishments and offers... Don't get me wrong! It's hard to watch, though.
Oh I wish I were good enough for you.

Looks like I've found a new goal.

TahXXX