Sometimes, life crashes down in the matter of one night. That one might changes who you are, the way you act, and the relationships you had. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to experience this. All I know I am.. Can't be.
And the worst part, please don't feel sorry, but I have to share... And not one person takes into account this poor girls feelings.
I've told myself I'm okay and I'll move on; he's happy. But truth is, I'm not okay. I told myself it was okay that he didn't tell me he loved me, but it's not okay. I said dating other people would make me happy if it made him happy, but it hasn't. No one thinks about me. Yeah, I'm being selfish. But I can't just say its okay in 7 days. Already there have been many advances on him... None on me... None thinking of that poor girl he used to like.
Crying is weak, but my heart feels too strongly; that's the only thing it knows how to do.

I just want it back. With that I didn't have to feel insecure, worried, alone, confused, wondering... Because I always knew.

Life goes on... It just takes a sec :) I'm okay :)
Tah

Thank goodness for my blog.
There's no one around to listen, although you think there would be between my team and my boyfriend. I'm afraid if I don't get this off my chest, I'll explode. A full blown, emotional volcano will erupt and everyone will know.

Life's hard. Schools hard. Friends are hard. Decisions are hard. I want someones shoulder to cry on, and someone arms to hold me tight. There's just no one to do that anymore. Once, my world was full of those people, but they've slipped away. Im a different person.. Who needs different people around, but you can't just buy them... You have to make them. Too bad they're hiding.

Dear friends, old, new, or soon to be found, I'm a little lost and would love a nice pat on the back, just telling me that it's okay. Thats all.

This is probably just my periods emotions speaking, so ironically I'll be okay in 5 days. These feelings only pop up when it's here. TMI... I know.

Tah
Xxx

Hey guys... Just a bunch of random thoughts...

I seriously have an obsession with wedding dresses. Actually, just weddings in general!
I wish I could just get married now because everything I want is in style ... And I'm afraid what I want won't be in a few years down the road.
Maybe if I could just design someone's wedding... Id be okay. Hmmm.. Yeah, that's what I'll do :)

Get me in college and in a design studio :) Also, get me a wedding :) I'm obsessed...

Sincerely,
Chloe

Tah
Xxx

today.....???

i made a goal when the new term/ new year started that I would get no more D's on any more tests (because, yes, i get D's).

i'm sad to say that didn't last long at all. i got a D on my math test.

its like no matter how hard i try, i'm JUST NOT SMART ENOUGH. i'm not saying that for sympathy... i'm just not.

today i couldn't help but just feel sorry for myself. i had a physics date over the weekend, and it didn't go well at all. i felt like i just was just so dumb! that feeling came back to me today. after seeing my test grade, it took all that i was to not burst into tears. people are always complaining at that B- they got on their test, when i know that i just got a D... without even looking. i'm so sick of not feeling good enough.

school is hard... i just want to quit. my GPA is totally screwed because i'm taking REQUIRED classes that are too hard for me. that then effects of my terrible GPA effect then my college applications and the way colleges will look at me. which right now... they won't even be looking.

no matter how hard i try.. things continue to fall apart for me. maybe its just a low point in my life, but it really sucks feeling inadiquate.

i'm not complaining anymore.. its just been a sad day. this would have been journal worthy, i'm just way too lazy to write it... so hopefully, if anyone reads what i have to say, you'll just over look a bad day.

tah

The past months in the drill team world have been nothing but hell for American fork Cavettes.

Because of the things that have happened, I am afraid this will be my last year. After two years of doing something I love, I have to say goodbye.

I am scared out of my mind of the person I might become without drill to keep me on track, but there's nothing that can keep me going; nothing that could actually happen.

I suppose this is a part of life, but I don't like it.

I'll make these last few months count. And if you have suggestions of what new hobby I should take up, please feel free to enlighten me.... Cause I have no idea.

WAS THAT NOT AN AWFUL AF VS. LONE PEAK GAME!?!?!? Geesh! I wanna know how much those refs got payed... Dumb lone peak. I'll hate them forever.

Tah
XXX

Teachers Responsible for Student Morals?: Mr. "Philosophy Teacher"

absolutely.
think about it: we spend more of our time at that school with those people than we do at our own homes.
it doesn't say anywhere in their job description that they must teach us those good, positive things, but i think it's something that most people would do subconsciously.
i know that for me, i observe the habits and opinions of my teachers. like in math, i catch myself talking in the same way my math teacher does! without even trying or noticing!
is that not a reason to be the best example at all times? if your students are picking up habits of yours, wouldn't you want your habits to be good ones??

there is one teacher in particular that i look up to very, very much. the way he teaches and tries to make his students excited about history and what he's saying. he tries to make the students experience the very best he can. i know that my time in his classes have helped me very much. i have grown to appreciate this teacher so much. every day i am just so stunned by the great impact he has on me. and even though you can't talk about religion at school, he has strengthened my testimony in so many ways! the way he can tie his subject in with something he believes like that makes me want to be just like him... in a very uncreepy way :] but really. i owe so much to this man... he has honestly changed my life! or just the outlook i have of it.

of course i think it helps that he likes me and so he makes me feel more proud of myself that any other teacher does, but still. don't you think that is important? because i sure do.

spending so much time around certain people can be good... or it can be bad. make it a good thing :] i love learning from people :] be an example to me :]


be an example..
tahxx