My heart skips a beat.

Boys. *sigh*
The phrase "it's always darkest before the dawn" really hits home. I've found my dawn. I've been singing this all day because I love that I'm out of that darkness. Not because of said boy, but because of the experiences I've had the last few weeks. Yes, said boy has been originally refreshing and helpful, but everything with my girls has been amazing :)
But the things that have happened in the last 36 hours have been... Refreshing, to say the least :) (I say that while letting out a huge breathe). These last hours have been spent not on my past, but on my future. I love this. I love it, I love it, I love it.


I know someone's going to make a difference in my life this summer; they already have.


....hi, I'm Chloe.

June 1, 2012: what a good day

I started the day out with an interview. I wore a blue and white stripped pencil skirt, a baggy white blouse, coral strait sandals, and coral jewelry; it was very cute :)
I show up to this interview being 17.... Everyone there was like.., 25-40. Hahahhahahha! It was so funny! They wanted someone who could make a career of this, which isn't what I wanted (obviously since I'm a senior in Highschool). Anyway, it was a great experience.
I came home and took a nice 3 hour nap. I then went shipping for my daddy's surprise birthday breakfast tomorrow :)
The best part was the beach cruiser ride with my best friends :) we are so GOSH DANG CUTE!!! Like honestly.
We then got home. Steph rode her bike home, I drove baby blue (her slug bug). As we are trying- and failing at- to get in the car, we get water-balloons thrown at us by complete strangers! Not only once, but twice! We thankfully got away before they could make a round three.
We got real hungry, so after looking at our adorbs pictures on my bed, we went to madys to make a delightful pizza!! It was real good :)

Over all... A successful day :)

You are a diamond.. Precious, priceless, irreplaceable: drill team, year two: check!

You are a diamond/ worthy, dynamic, and strong/ capable of conquering all/ as gods child you belong/ among the heavens/ sparkling like rare jewels/ classy and proud/ feeling anew/ belief in yourself/ is a key to your life/ without it, you fall/ living in angst and strife/ take pride in yourself/ you're genuine and rare/ choose a life that is precious/ and gleam bright and fair/ you're a cut above the rest/ priceless and refined/ know your worth/ be spectacular, be divine/ for a diamond is a true find/ desired, loved, a prize/ And that is you, one of a kind: irreplaceable and wise.

I wish to express the love I have for my team. They are the best friends, sisters, and eternal companions anyone could ever have. I am incredibly blessed to have come to know and love these girls. They are a part of me, a part I won't EVER forget. They have made my junior year worth it :) true friends are the ones you fight with, confide in, laugh at, smile with, and spend all your time with... And they still love you :) thank you girls for being that for me :) an eternity of "thanks you's" wouldn't even begin to say how grateful I am to you! You got me through the hardest time of my life... I am who I am thanks to you :)

Half marathon training: 6.2 miles

6.2 miles.
I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but when the only thing that's keeping me from doing more is my knee, I think that's pretty good! I could have kept going nooooo problem (stupid knee).
I'm halfway there and feeling awesome!


He waved today :) recovery? Maybe?

Loving life :) young and wild and free :)

Teachers Responsible for Student Morals?: Mr. "Philosophy Teacher"

absolutely.
think about it: we spend more of our time at that school with those people than we do at our own homes.
it doesn't say anywhere in their job description that they must teach us those good, positive things, but i think it's something that most people would do subconsciously.
i know that for me, i observe the habits and opinions of my teachers. like in math, i catch myself talking in the same way my math teacher does! without even trying or noticing!
is that not a reason to be the best example at all times? if your students are picking up habits of yours, wouldn't you want your habits to be good ones??

there is one teacher in particular that i look up to very, very much. the way he teaches and tries to make his students excited about history and what he's saying. he tries to make the students experience the very best he can. i know that my time in his classes have helped me very much. i have grown to appreciate this teacher so much. every day i am just so stunned by the great impact he has on me. and even though you can't talk about religion at school, he has strengthened my testimony in so many ways! the way he can tie his subject in with something he believes like that makes me want to be just like him... in a very uncreepy way :] but really. i owe so much to this man... he has honestly changed my life! or just the outlook i have of it.

of course i think it helps that he likes me and so he makes me feel more proud of myself that any other teacher does, but still. don't you think that is important? because i sure do.

spending so much time around certain people can be good... or it can be bad. make it a good thing :] i love learning from people :] be an example to me :]


be an example..
tahxx

week one of christmas break: lovely.

Guys, this passed week has been utterly amazing :] not because i did anything really fun, or saw a lot of people, because i did neither :] but because i hung out with my favorite people, and did nothing :]

MONDAY:
Monday I'm sure i did nothing. which is very logical because you see, we had our first competition on Saturday. it was very long; 14 hours to be exact. so i took that day to catch up on sleep and do nothing :]

TUESDAY:
this day was my wonderful boyfriends birthday :] this year, i felt very proud of my gift to him. i was a little worried it would be thought of as too girly, but he liked it enough :]
for his birthday, all we did was hang out at his house, play a little ping pong, and watch the weirdest movie i have ever seen: THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE. it was so strange.
i made cranberry, jalapeno relish, which ended up being a total hit :]
this night was so simple, that it made my list of favorite days :]
and there wasn't even a goodnight kiss... i guess he actually likes me for me and not my lips (yes girls, that is very possible:))

WEDNESDAY:
i had to take my sisters out so that my mommy could finish wrapping Christmas gifts. so i took them to see TIN TIN. it actually wasn't that bad! and the only upside to this was Dall and his sisters joined us :] Haha, my sisters now believe me that they are very quiet and shy :]

THURSDAY:
another day spent with my best friend :] aah.... he is the best person :] he so kindly volunteered his house this whole week... i was over there a whole lot :]
after he had his choir practiced, i went over there and watched BETTER OFF DEAD, the other movie we had to choose from on his birthday. this movie was also so dumb... haha, oh the good ole 80's...
it doesn't sound very excited, and it wasn't, but... i don't know! i love these nights :]

FRIDAY:
Friday :] its always the best night of the week :]
Dall called and told me i had been invited to his family last minute white elephant party :] it was so short notice that i didn't have anything to bring, so he just came and picked me up; my present was a surprise to me and everyone else but Alice :]
even though it was small, and they all thought it was lame, i thought it was fun and sweet :] i ended up with hello kitty headphones... which i actually liked (that's not supposed to happen, is it??) :)
we then went to the kitchen and made snowflakes :] this always sounded so cute in my head... and it was in real life :] his cute sisters came and joined us... they are very good at making snowflakes. much better than me, actually. we laughed and giggled and had lots of fun :]
haha, now, the rest of the night was so random :]
we sat on his coach and we literally laughed until we cried!! i never thought him to be that funny, but oh boy was he :] you know those things that really aren't funny, but you re so elated that you laugh and laugh anyway?? that's what we did :] he literally had tears running down his face:] i did, too! i loved it :]
after i so kindly asked him to take me home, we laughed and laughed all the way there. he stopped at a stop sign and planted a solid kiss on my lips... something i hadn't gotten all week :] it was a nice surprise :] when he pulled into my driveway, he kissed me again. we were saying goodbye when he came to kiss me again. i obviously kissed him back, cause kissing is nice, but i just couldn't take him seriously and laughed all over his face! hahahahaha..... its okay, he totally denied me right before :] that's just how we are :] not very serious :]

SATURDAY:
Christmas EVE! we saw WE BOUGHT A ZOO to pass time :]
this movie was SO cute!!! i did cry a few times, but it was just so sweet and inspirational! and so real.... there was no avoiding it.

"ALL IT TAKES IT 20 SECONDS OF INSANE BRAVERY."

oh boy, do i believe this.
i like it so much that it's going to be my new life motto :]

SUNDAY:
CHRISTMAS!!!
it was a good day :]
i didn't get much, but that's okay because i didn't ask for anything, or felt like i was in need of anything :] so my mommy gave me a nice $100 bill to get a few more presents :]
we had church, which was awesome! slept, and played with our new toys :] love Christmas!

my favorite gift:
THE KISSING HAND. this is the gift i got from Dallin. i opened the cover, and out fell a note. his notes are always so sweet! though it was short, it still had the power to bring me to tears :] they always do :] after reading through the book, the back cover held another note. in this note was his hand with a big heart drawn in the middle. at the bottom it said: I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
it again brought me to tears :]



and there you have it! my incredibly simple week :] simple is my favorite :]


i hope you all had a great week, and hope you have another one this week :]

happy holidays
tahXX

yes, i'm still alive.

hey.
hows it goin?
my name is chloe..
and i've been gone far too long.
but i hope to making it back to the blogging world a little more often now :]

just incase anyone wants to know, i'm doing great :]
sometimes feelings are hurt, or anger is everywhere, and you get offended very easily, but i've become okay with those feelings. i'll complain all i want, because those i complain to, are those i trust.

sometimes you have to love someone enough to give them what they want. sometimes its hard, but you put on a pretty smile and say you're okay :] and sometimes, if youre lucky enough, you really are okay :] like me :]





keep smiling... because you're beautiful :]

tah xxx

the sounds of my childhood memory...

   as I'm laying here in bed, i can hear the train blowing its horn. its dark, and I'm laying by a slightly cracked window. this sound reminds me of two different times in my not-too-long-ago childhood life.

   whenever i hear the sound of that horn, i immediately go to my grandparents house. i was about 6 i think, and i remember laying in my bed, that was right by a slightly cracked window, where i could hear the sound of that horn, and could see the glare from the city lights. i can strictly remember the smell that room had: it smelled of strong scented soap, the kind you would smell in an earlier time period. i always thought it would be green and prickly. i remember being wrapped up in stiff, cool, white sheets.
   i don't know why i always go to that moment in time, but i always do. every time. and it reminds me of the happy times i shared in hot California, in that house with wretched green carpet..... and I'll never forget that simple memory.

  i also think of the time i was in London. we were staying at the London temple headquarters in a white, cylinder block room that had three bunk beds. i loved hearing the sound of that train... it was somehow so much more magical than any other train I'd ever heard. maybe it was due to the fact that i was in London, somewhere I'd always longed to go, or maybe its just because i have a thing for trains.
   i loved smelling and hearing the light drops of rain, and the far away bustle of London, and feeling the calming peace of the temple nearby. i loved walking around the beautiful gardens each morning before we went out for the day, and seeing, all around me, the strange and different things. the things that remind me of my time in the UK are things i would never trade for anything. they are memories i will never forget, and they're memories that are awakened quite often by the smallest things.

   i love being reminded of happy childhood times. times when all you needed to do was get a red crayon and draw a picture. when bubbles could make everything better. where going far away places in your imagination was normal, and making up silly games with your friends was the best time.

   I'm grateful for the memories i have, and the places they take me.


".... you didn't even play with me and i adore you for it..."

have a lovely, and dreamy night my charming readers..
tah.

the fibers of my being ache for this one passion... dance.

have you ever been so excited to do something... that your whole self feels EXCITED??? alive?

well goodness.

i feel as if my nerves are on fire.

all i want to do is dance.
to turn, turn for ages. and do it well, and beautifully.
to jump, to leap. to leap high, and with grace. to feel the beauty your body can create. to SOAR through the air.
to capture those moments, and movements, in pictures.
and to admire them.

this week i found that i love to jump. and that I'm quite good at it. i LOVE it.
i love to turn as well. as long as i am NOT in gore boots on newly refurnished floors.
:]

can i just say....

do what you're passionate about. and do it well! and love it! take it all in. don't let the hard times get you down. go for it!! go for it FULLY! don't have regrets :]

of course... we all envy ladies like these... and wish that we could be just as beautiful. maybe in my next life.

also.
i have red hair :] pictures... soon?

"... if we want a picture, I'll have to roll up shorts up, and pull my duck down."

tah\XO

cutest names!.. and random things..

i thought id share these names now before i forget that i love them :]

1. Sutton (girl)
2. Spencer (girl)
3. Phoebe (girl)
4 Andrew (boy)

haha... can you tell which kind of kid i want?? kind? i talk like they're a pair of shoes... oh well. not something I'll be actually thinking about for.... 10 years? yes, at least that :]

also.

school.
i really hate school. i have such an inward anger towards it.
I'll go to school, tell myself I'm going to be good that day and i won't get angry at the teachers...
but i go and what do i do??? lose my temper.
great. and whole other year of it.
and.
and I'm not very excited to see... some certain people.
I'll control myself and be nice..
i am just certainly NOT excited to see you :] :]


one more thing.

drill.
starts up again tomorrow.
who knows what direction I'll take:
1. stay with it and stick it out...and pray that the best happens.
or
2. quit, get a job, have a real social life, do well in school.... possibly get fat.
who knows!
tomorrow and Tuesday will determine my path...


I've got a brain full of random things lately :] its absolutely beautiful :]

nothing funny happens in life anymore. so...
tah/xxx

the week of girls camp

first off, i would like to say this:

If you love something, set it free.

 If it comes back, it was meant to be.

 If it continues to fly, let it soar, have faith that God has something better in store.

this week i was at the beloved GIRLS CAMP. upon 'The Temple on the Mount', i had a marvelous time. from laughs, to tears, to stinky, yucky girls, to just plain tired... i had the best kind of week.

as i go to girls camp each year, we have a stake theme: OH THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!- Dr. Suess.

but i also have a personal theme. this theme is the point that sticks out most to me throughout the whole week. this year it was: the fact that earthly things don't matter. my looks, money, body image, objects that bring short bouts of happiness. of course the decisions we make now will determine our eternity, and i think i'm choosing quite well as of right now, but i need to focus on more of an eternal perspective.

we also talked a lot about writing our own story.

we often write our own stories, but what we forget, is that perhaps the Lord has something else in store for us. and guess what? it always ends up making our story to our happily ever after... so much sweeter. so much closer to perfection.

while going through these moments, they seem hard, quite unbearable, and like we can't possibly make it through. but let me assure you, that with the help of our loving Savior, we can. but we must put our trust in Him.

that's so much easier said, than done. i know.

i love girls camp for the rejuvination it brings. it refocusses us on what is truly important. and i love it. i love the spirit that every girls feels upon that mountain. it is truly a temple. and its my favorite one.

**************

'once upon a time, a girl was born into this life; heaven could be seen in her eyes. there was no doubt she was divine. and if we are still, you will understand: that the princess in this wonderous story.... is you.

its your time! its your destiny to shine! so arise! be true to the royal thats inside of you.

dont settle for the story that the world would you write. you were born to reach eternal life.

let faith fill every chapter. let the Savior lead you to: happily ever after."

as we sang this song each night, and came to the very last chorus, you could feel it. you could feel the Savoirs love so strong.... it brought you to tears. YOU WERE BORN TO REACH ETERNAL LIFE! wow. the power that sentence has is incredible. dont forget it! dont let the world snatch you and suck you in. you were born to be so much more than just an ordinary girl.

you are a daughter of your Heavenly Father, who loves you, and you love Him.

**************

i got on facebook (because we all know thats where we all go after being absent) and i got to see the pictures and good times my many friends had on trek. it was so cool knowing that so many of our strong youth could have such a powerful week... even in different places. we are strong indivuals... and we can do hard things.

I am so glad to be a member of this incredible youth. wow. what a blessing.

I am so glad for my testimony.... it really comes down to only that in the end. thats all we have left. strengthen it by going to these wonderful experiences like trek and girls camp. it will get you throught

i love this gospel with all that i am. those who dont have it... wow. you're missing out.

"your bunk has the funk.. real bad" - everyone that had to witness the stench of camille.

tah

xxx

 

best week: ever. period.

Tuesday: getting caught in the rain with my best friend, my other really good friend, and his sudden obsession ((a very beautiful girl whom i love)). very wonderful.

Wednesday: mmmmm... SPARKLERS WITH JILL AND HEIDI! check it:

Thursday: i had a lazy day. my best friend. me. sitting and watching movies together. and nothing else. makeup-less. cute hair-less. and in nothing figure complimenting in any way. very wonderful.

Friday: a short trip to the pool. me. my best friend. my very close friend. without his sudden obsession ((we heard about how much he missed her)). but only 3 short hours. not enough.

Saturday: started with a parade: hot. long. sweaty. pretty alright.
               went hiking: waited. for hour and a half. went. to the wrong 200 south ((we were in Lindon... we were supposed to be in pg)). my best friend getting us unlost after getting us lost. pretty funny.

                getting there: going up the wrong trail. finding the right trail. wow.... going up hill. the whole time. basically running. thank goodness for waterfalls. pretty beautiful.

                *time in between: finding a spot. painting with mud. pushing in. quiet time. spying ((hahahahaha!!!!! oh man. can't wait to hear about the details)). running back down the trail. only to find out we didn't have to rush. pretty.... amazing. ((that word doesn't even work in my vocabulary anymore)).

                getting ready: cute hair. fresh makeup. blue poncho. green floral shorts. earrings. sandals ((that never actually made in on my feet for more than 10 minutes)). going to Adams. pretty pumped.

                driving there: boy: "hey! we saved you some pizza!" me:"they saved us some pizza!!" girl:"did you say 2 pieces?? man.. we could eat two pizzas!". pretty hungry.

                showing up: "2 pieces?!" hahahahahahahaha. pizza. crazy bread. brownies. no scary movies ((because we didn't want people to be sleeping with their parents)). chick flicks. sleepless in Seattle. tomatoes. pretty funny.
                fireworks: driving forever trying to find somewhere to park. finding a place. running into parents. sitting away from parents ((not that i would have minded sitting with them)). the most amazing firework show I've seen. beautiful.
                waiting for traffic to slow: cuddling. patcha ((from the emperors new groove)). laughing. dry eyes. wet eyes. pretty perfect.

what an amazing week.

love being surrounded with those i love.

love actually having a summer.

love being happy.

love kissing.

love. love. love.

love incomplete sentences.

and periods.

makes things sound final.

love my readers.

COMMENT!!!

tahXXX    ((Cali on Friday!! whoop! might come back without hair. we'll see :)))

summer nights: caught in the rain

park. thunder. lightening. beautiful sights. shining lights. pouring rain. soaking wet. running. holding hands. ice cream. movies.

l.o.v.e.

we got caught in the middle of the pouring rain.

the warm, heavy, beautiful, summer rain.

oh.

those summer nights.

tah/xxx

youth conference: what i've learned...

I had youth conference the last 3 days... and let me tell you!!

it was amazing :]

definitely a different experience than the last AFY (American Fork Youth) that i went to, but it was awesome :]

i met some people... or maybe just one ;] and they made it okay that my dumb, loser, bad-attitude-having- friend wasn't there :] thanks!

while we were there, three things never left my mind:

1. I AM going to the Celestial Kingdom... because i am a worthy Temple Recommend holder :]

2. "We are as the Army of Heleman".... we are such strong youth! oh my goodness...its absolutely incredible!

3. I know what the spirit feels like :] i have come to know and understand it. i have never had a time when i haven't felt it because... well! i haven't done anything to make it leave :] and i never want it to!

i am so blessed to be apart of this church.. because its true, the only true church, and i don't know where i would be without it.

i know my Savior loves me, and every each one of you, as well. we are His sons and daughters and he wants nothing more than for us to return to Him :]

no matter the deep, dark hole you have dug for yourself, you can always get out :] through love and repentance, it can be as if nothing ever happened :] and that is such a comforting feeling :]

i hope that you can feel His love as well... there's nothing better :]

TAH

xxx



May: first official day of sun bathing....

yes. i am one of those people who consider 60 degrees to be warm

but i couldn't help it!!

it was beautiful :]

and after lunch today.....

i just had to get back out there!

but this time, in a swimsuit.

it was very refreshing and i have my fill of vitamin D.

today i also decided what i'm doing this weekend.

1. i'm doing a makeover

2. it's going to be on a boy

3. i will be recieving one in return

4. it will be done by a boy

5. i have very willing and wonderful friends :]

TAHXXX

Chloe's random thoughts: i admire you.

While reading a blog post of a dearly loved friend, i realized that she may be one of the strongest people i know. you are amazing. and i look up to you so much.

when it comes to be my turn, i don't how i'm going to handle it. i just hope and pray that maybe, just maybe, i'll take it like you; like a strong girl who is excited about the future, and over looks the bad things. i look up to you so much. you are amazing.

while thinking about my future and what crazy things may happen, i realized that it's time to completely let go. don't be chloe. just totally let go and be free. because i don't think i have ever, not once, done that. i've always been my tightly wound, paranoid, fun sucking self.... too shy to be myself. and i'm not going to keep doing that. tryouts are in a week and half, and i am SO nervous. i'm working on my captains solo this weekend, and THAT is when i must let go and be anything but myself. wish me luck.

i have never looked up to so many people than i do right now. i am so very grateful for the people in my life. you have all taught me so much. whether it be from your mistakes, your trials, or your smiles; everything you do has blessed me richly. i love you.

i am going to stop being jealous. i am going to stop getting mad at people for no reason. i am only going to be excited and optimitic about things.

have a wonderful weekend.
i also hope i have one, too.


tahxxx

And my life begins again starting.....NOW!!!: Cavettes :)

Yaya!!! New coach has finally arrived!!
She's
Young
Blonde
TINY
Amazing dancer!!
AMERICAN FORK DRILL TEAM COACH!!
Her name is McCall Tickson :)
She used to coach Jordan (sucks for Jordan!) but now shes with us!
Iiiiiii have a wonderful feeling about her, some thinks she's too young, but looking at how Jordan did last year: 4th in region, 4th(I think) in state, 1st in nationals!! So she's bound to be good.... Right??
Oh I hope so :)
Yay for bad things!! They only bring better things to you :)

TahXXX

Childhoods are fun: my imaginary friend :)

Yesterday was a really bad day for me. Really bad.

It was brought to my attention how bad this world really is and the bad things people do. Stupid things.

So I spent a good part of my day either:

1) feeling like I was going to puke for all those idiotic people, or

2) crying to my best friend about the terrible things I had come to know.

Well... I remembered how easy and fun my childhood was!! And I remembered that I had an imaginary friend!! Yes friends, that is correct :)
her name was Duma :)
she had purple hair with black polka dots
purple skin with black polka dots
and she was part octopus :)
and was kinda part goth...??

Here she is!!!

i am definitely no artist....

as you can probably tell.

but the important part is is that drawing and doodling made me happy.

cause, boy. i was needin it.

dear people of Chloe's blog:

DON'T DO DRUGS!

I CANT EVEN STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

LOVEs.

tahXXX



[PROM]

So... Prom. Prom was a glorious day/night for me :] I had an AMAZING date: Dallin Childs :] oh boy.... he is such a gentleman and suuuuuuch a stud!!! I can't even get over how lucky I was to be asked by him :]

To start the day out, the boys came and picked us up at 8:45 and they took us to iHop. I had a delicious crepe... very good. Then we went to the Festival of Colors!!! Oh my.. TOTAL BLAST!!! Even though we kinda got lost, we still made it on time and it was soooooo fun!!!

Taylor!!! Looks like its snowing it was so dusty!

Me and my cute date, Dallin :] (Also my boyfriend)

Dirty pants!!!

In the car....Heidi is a creeper...

Me and Moe!! Don't you love the colors???

Me before the shower....
Imagine the water.
It was yucky.

Heidi... she looked the best :]

Before we were grafittied :]

Dall :] Looks good even when he's covered in color...

Haha, my shirt! You can see my where my bra was and where my shirt was tucked in :]

Dan and Heidi. Aren't they adorable???

This dish rag parked so close we had to do a 40 point turn to get out.
So we wrote on his car :]

THE group :]

Us just bein dirty in the backseat... ;]

MOE!!!!!

We were totally drenched in color!!! I can't believe it all came out in one 30 minute shower!!

After I got home an showered, I went to get my make up done. Looked great! Then I came hope and slept for an hour because I was EXHAUSTED!!!!!! So I did :]
Then I got ready!! Here are the finished looks :]

My haaaaair :] Did it  myself. Yes. I was very proud :]

Me and Heids. She looked amazing!!

No, I didn't kill, poke, or draw blood :]

The group!!!

Me and Dall :]

Over all it was a VERY good day!!! I loved every second of it and I i will NEVER forget the day :]

(The best part were the car rides :] Dall had a wonderful voice and he sang to me the whole time :] And, yes, we did cuddle, but that's beside the point :] He's a GREAT boyfriend :])

I hope your Prom experiences were just AMAZING as mine :] Love you all!!

Tah
XXX