disconnect

One day, long ago, everything was a certain way.

Those things changed.

When those things changed, so did my heart.

I can't find the ability to love, or to care.

I just can't.

I've honestly tried with everything that I am to like someone, just to get one butterfly.

But I can't.

A boy will come along, all will be fun and flirty, but the second he asks me out....

It's gone.

All desire to even be in the same room as him.

I want to be anywhere but there at that moment.

I only want to be with 6 people.

(sometimes 7)

Ever.

What. is wrong?

It's been stolen. And I don't find myself getting it back anytime soon.

So let me continue to love only me.

And one day, when I can love (or even crush on) someone again...

I'll let you know.

SIDENOTE.

Yesterday was Sadie Hawkins.

I had a good time.

Really. I did.

But I'm sad to say nothing is going to compare to Homecoming.

Also.

I have found the type of people I fit in with the best.

I will always be drawn to those people.

And when I am put in situations with others, I will find myself wishing I was with the others.

Every time.

It was embarrassing.

One Last Thing.

I turn 18 this Friday.

Friday.

Can you believe it?

I sure can't...

And I'll be spending it with the two people I love the most in this world.

Because the other 4 will be at a party.

I know. I wish they were going to be with me, too.