I see you maybe once a day...
If I'm lucky, I'll get more than a hey.
We don't have much to say...
Anymore.
We've drifted apart,
I can feel it in my heart..
I just want a fresh new start.
But I have to admit,
I want you still...
Maybe over the top of this hill...
One day.

I'm watching Dear John, and I'm remembering that I had that... I had someone to tickle me, sing with me, someone to get caught in the rain with.
But the funny thing is, those are the things I forgot. Strange that I would forget the laughs and good times..
My life seems strangely.. Exactly like this movie: I meet someone I hardly know, we hit it off right away, we have a great time for a long time, and then 'John' goes off to war again. He leaves, but they still keep in touch. Before he leaves, they get in a fight. He storms off and ends up hurting a lot more people than he intended. They do make up before he leaves, but I don't know what that has to do with anything.

I think that's as far as the movie fits for right now, but it's CRAZY to think about! Man, life was so different. Was that really only a few months ago?

I am happy, though :) I didn't think I'd be okay, but I am :)

Brownies just beeped!
Tah!

It's so hard to watch old friends slowly fall off the straight and narrow...

It starts with skipping church one day, wearing a bikini in the backyard, letting a bad word slip, missing class once or twice, hanging out with people who aren't the best, but not participating; shorter shorts than the ones you wore last year, lower shirts... Like I get it. Things are appealing, but I won't follow in your footsteps. And I hope you see what you're doing..

This week brought me smiles :) the smallest things can make the biggest difference- and people don't know that they're helping.
Things like a smile, a "hello", a "good job on your paper", a laugh at my not-so-funny joke, the confidence in my clothing choices, the simple "I love you"'s between my sweet friends, the "how are you today, clo?", temple, YW leaders, friends you've known for years talking and being interested, compliments from total strangers, bike rides alone through the beautiful streets of Utah, waves, old faces, happy tears, reminiscent years, "thank you"'s, "you're welcome", the puzzled looks, good cooks, cute pictures, my ticking watch :) art in the commons, creativity of others, my pink pants :) pretty eyes, happy eyes, confessions, honesty, old letters, memories, heart strings shaken... All these things have made my week bearable :) and they are all small things..

By small and simple things are GREAT things brought to pass...

Have a endearingly lovely weekend :)
Tah

(Before I start, just know that I ramble. A lot. And I'm quite the scatterbrain).

Right now, at this exact moment.. I'm grateful for everything :) I'm so much more appreciative of the little things :) I feel genuine happiness :) whether that stays tomorrow, that's up to me- but I hope it does, cause I miss feeling happy and I miss caring :)

Whatever happens tomorrow, we've had today - One Day

My goodness... Crying because I feel happy!? Can we tell I've been lacking that lately?? :) I'll take small, insignificant moments like this any day... Just to replace the anger and frustration. I would rather live in this moment forever then feel angry ever again. I've felt enough anger to last me two lifetimes.

Smiling.. I like it :)
Thank you :) It means the world :)

Late night call, tears, and a blog post.. Random :) but nice... Incredibly nice :)
Tah.

I'm so sorry.