Gawl. I miss having school to stress me out. I never expected such an awful thought to enter MY mind before, but it has.
I thrived off of stress. I love having something to do... All the time.
But now that I have full-fledged senoritis, I have nothing to do. School is the easiest thing ever, I don't work enough (no point in looking forward to work anymore, anyway), and I am in a RUT.
Yes, a rut.
As in:
I'm lazy
I don't see myself ever getting out
I'm fat
The only things I think about are males that I can't have
My religious levels are so down it's bad (mainly because I START MY PAPERS TOMORROW)
My fashion sense is shot- I am going to Pinterest to give ME ideas. Me! Of all people on the planet!
I have nothing I even want to wear
My world is one big BLAH.
I've lowered myself to a level to get another's attention, but even by doing so, I don't have their attention. And I hate the feeling it gives me. And I think I just ruined everything by my obnoxiousness. Because boy... I can get obnoxious when I want someone to notice me.
I'm an attention whore. Big time.
As I mentioned, papers are starting tomorrow :) I am very excited for that... But sometimes it really scares me that it's so real and... Happening so fast!
"I don't believe in it. I don't agree with it. But I agree we're all gods children and everyone deserves equality and we need to love everyone and the way they love."
Xx
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Seeing these are the last of my days
Between tomorrow and the day of graduation, we have a little over two months. That is the exact amount of time I'll be spending in Germany. That's kind of a long time when I'm here and waiting to graduate. But it's such a short time when I think about all the things I have to do with people before then.
Two months is such a short time to be together, and to be honest...
I'm scared.
And I'm sad.
And I'm almost regretful.
And it's all happening so fast.
So many people won't be here when I get home. The people that mean the most to me in life won't be here. They won't be a phone call away, they'll be a letter away, which is far. I won't be able to hear their comforting, lovely voices. I won't get to be in one of their big loving hugs. I won't get to hear them tease me, or ask how my trip was. I won't get to hear them leave their testimonies here, while they go to the various countries they've been assigned.
I won't be here for any of it.
And here I am thinking two months is a long time.
Chlo. Two YEARS is a long time.
I can't get caught up in my life. I need to take what time I have with everyone and cherish it. And be selfish, because I won't get to be for so long.
But then I remember, THEY AREN'T DYING, CHLO. It's just two years... Just two. Think how it's flown by for everyone else....
Besides. You'll be on your own mission more than half the time they'll be gone.
... Can you see me trying to convince myself? Is it working?
He's recognized I'm something special. And I already knew that about him, but now is the time it's got to count.
Should I make it count? Or should I leave it be because it's two months?
Heart or the head?
I just pray I won't be forgotten. Please? Remember me? Love me? Come back to me? Like old times? Sitting in the yard, talking about everything, nothing. This is just one more stage of life I get to be apart of. I hope.
I love you. I always have, and I ALWAYS will. You've been my rock, my smile on a dark day, the laughter in an empty one. My big brother when I didn't have my own.. And a best friend when I didn't have anyone else. You've been my source of strength, and my biggest example.
Remember who you are. Don't ever forget. You're my best friend, and Heavenly Fathers son.
Xx
Two months is such a short time to be together, and to be honest...
I'm scared.
And I'm sad.
And I'm almost regretful.
And it's all happening so fast.
So many people won't be here when I get home. The people that mean the most to me in life won't be here. They won't be a phone call away, they'll be a letter away, which is far. I won't be able to hear their comforting, lovely voices. I won't get to be in one of their big loving hugs. I won't get to hear them tease me, or ask how my trip was. I won't get to hear them leave their testimonies here, while they go to the various countries they've been assigned.
I won't be here for any of it.
And here I am thinking two months is a long time.
Chlo. Two YEARS is a long time.
I can't get caught up in my life. I need to take what time I have with everyone and cherish it. And be selfish, because I won't get to be for so long.
But then I remember, THEY AREN'T DYING, CHLO. It's just two years... Just two. Think how it's flown by for everyone else....
Besides. You'll be on your own mission more than half the time they'll be gone.
... Can you see me trying to convince myself? Is it working?
He's recognized I'm something special. And I already knew that about him, but now is the time it's got to count.
Should I make it count? Or should I leave it be because it's two months?
Heart or the head?
I just pray I won't be forgotten. Please? Remember me? Love me? Come back to me? Like old times? Sitting in the yard, talking about everything, nothing. This is just one more stage of life I get to be apart of. I hope.
I love you. I always have, and I ALWAYS will. You've been my rock, my smile on a dark day, the laughter in an empty one. My big brother when I didn't have my own.. And a best friend when I didn't have anyone else. You've been my source of strength, and my biggest example.
Remember who you are. Don't ever forget. You're my best friend, and Heavenly Fathers son.
Xx
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The same style, different day, different happenings
Curly hair, high waist pants, denim, and sandals.
Windows down, glasses on, music blaring, sun shining.
Sweet naps, sweeter dreams, far away places, countdowns keep going.
Smiles, hugs, pictures, "congratulations"; time is of the essence.
Meeting, planning, exciting, living, traveling.
My last one, one of my favorites, ginger; Japan.
My best one, my happy one, all smiles, always; Italy.
An old one, so sweet, a perfect young man; Hungary.
My Asian, the tease, old memories; Indonesia.
My jeep, tears, pleading, pledging, praying, desiring.
Sweets, photos, reading, confessing, realizing... Ah. So that's what this is.
Life is better when it's simple. I'm a firm believer of that. Don't complicate what's made to be simple.
Windows down, glasses on, music blaring, sun shining.
Sweet naps, sweeter dreams, far away places, countdowns keep going.
Smiles, hugs, pictures, "congratulations"; time is of the essence.
Meeting, planning, exciting, living, traveling.
My last one, one of my favorites, ginger; Japan.
My best one, my happy one, all smiles, always; Italy.
An old one, so sweet, a perfect young man; Hungary.
My Asian, the tease, old memories; Indonesia.
My jeep, tears, pleading, pledging, praying, desiring.
Sweets, photos, reading, confessing, realizing... Ah. So that's what this is.
Life is better when it's simple. I'm a firm believer of that. Don't complicate what's made to be simple.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The sun set on the perfect day
A dress, denim button up, pink bow, pink shoes, pink pearl earrings.
Vanilla cupcake, chocolate frosting, blue flower, silver sprinkles; floral china, frilly bistro, old newspaper, glitter.
Old friends, best friends, sweaters, smiles, hugs.
Germany, California, New Zealand, Mexico; Mexico, Russia, Spain, etcetera.
Tears, hugs, hugs, and hugs; smile, converse, onto the next.
Typing, learning, interrupted.. There's a letter.
Read, asked, beamed... I'm going to prom!!
Today has been fabulously eventful!
1) My best friend is serving his LDS mission in Frankfurt, Germany! He leaves July 24! I hoped I was lucky enough to catch him while I was there, but I think I'll miss him by a few weeks.
2) I got to celebrate my very best sisters (best friends) birthday! Nothing better than a day at Dear Lizzie.
3) I'm going to prom with my other very best friend :) :) :) he asked me in such a cute way... I love him!
No ones got better friends than I do and I'll fight anyone who thinks they do.
Kidding!
(But seriously, they're great)
Take a peek into the good life of Chloe Gilmour
Vanilla cupcake, chocolate frosting, blue flower, silver sprinkles; floral china, frilly bistro, old newspaper, glitter.
Old friends, best friends, sweaters, smiles, hugs.
Germany, California, New Zealand, Mexico; Mexico, Russia, Spain, etcetera.
Tears, hugs, hugs, and hugs; smile, converse, onto the next.
Typing, learning, interrupted.. There's a letter.
Read, asked, beamed... I'm going to prom!!
Today has been fabulously eventful!
1) My best friend is serving his LDS mission in Frankfurt, Germany! He leaves July 24! I hoped I was lucky enough to catch him while I was there, but I think I'll miss him by a few weeks.
2) I got to celebrate my very best sisters (best friends) birthday! Nothing better than a day at Dear Lizzie.
3) I'm going to prom with my other very best friend :) :) :) he asked me in such a cute way... I love him!
No ones got better friends than I do and I'll fight anyone who thinks they do.
Kidding!
(But seriously, they're great)
Take a peek into the good life of Chloe Gilmour
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Too tired to write. Just look.
Just adding my URL to twitter again. My past weeks have been fabulously eventful. Slash they also haven't been.
But whatevs.
Chao.
Xxx
But whatevs.
Chao.
Xxx
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Screws get loose
Wooooah, screws get loo-oose.
*
Especially the ones in your head. Why on earth have you left?
Mission?
Not interested?
Some awful 5 week plan?
*
And your screws! Oh, don't get me started on those screws. It's apparent we both want the same thing, so just be the bolder of the two and ask. Rejection isn't in your future.
*
And the loose screws getting looser and looser in that head. We're all getting looser because of your loose screws. Get it together.
*
It's school. It's making us loose, not tighter.
I miss my best friend.
I miss texting (that awful invention).
*
Especially the ones in your head. Why on earth have you left?
Mission?
Not interested?
Some awful 5 week plan?
*
And your screws! Oh, don't get me started on those screws. It's apparent we both want the same thing, so just be the bolder of the two and ask. Rejection isn't in your future.
*
And the loose screws getting looser and looser in that head. We're all getting looser because of your loose screws. Get it together.
*
It's school. It's making us loose, not tighter.
I miss my best friend.
I miss texting (that awful invention).
Sunday, February 10, 2013
we'll bring the world His truth
it's the season of mission calls. my best friends will be opening their calls this week and it's a total surreal thought. i am more excited for that moment than i think they are.
i was sitting in mission prep this evening, and all i can say is 'WOW'. honestly, these young men are the best there is. it is such a privilege to even know them. when they speak, they speak with such assurance and knowledge. where ever they go, the people they teach will be so lucky.
i also watched the Titans YouTube video on mission call openings. it was so good it moved me to tears. it just goes to show how truly called of god this work is. to see young men get so excited about serving the Lord is one of the most precious moments. and when you see sisters opening their calls, you just know that they love the Gospel and they are ready to teach it to everyone (and everyone will listen because i'm convinced there isn't a single unattractive sister missionary out there. they are all adorable!).
and there was also the weekly Skype session I have with Tay. he gets his call on tuesday or wednesday. when i said i'm more excited for them than they are, he is who i was mostly referring to. he is going to make one incredible missionary! how amazing it is that someone so young could be so excited about something the majority of the world would loath even the thought of. it's a miracle if you really think about it.
i am so grateful to be surrounded by these kinds of young men everywhere i go. they are the elite. and i can't wait until the day i get to marry one of them. they will make amazing fathers and husbands. their missions will only make them that much more amazing. wow. i look up to them more than they could ever know. i can't wait to see where the Lord sends them!
i was sitting in mission prep this evening, and all i can say is 'WOW'. honestly, these young men are the best there is. it is such a privilege to even know them. when they speak, they speak with such assurance and knowledge. where ever they go, the people they teach will be so lucky.
i also watched the Titans YouTube video on mission call openings. it was so good it moved me to tears. it just goes to show how truly called of god this work is. to see young men get so excited about serving the Lord is one of the most precious moments. and when you see sisters opening their calls, you just know that they love the Gospel and they are ready to teach it to everyone (and everyone will listen because i'm convinced there isn't a single unattractive sister missionary out there. they are all adorable!).
and there was also the weekly Skype session I have with Tay. he gets his call on tuesday or wednesday. when i said i'm more excited for them than they are, he is who i was mostly referring to. he is going to make one incredible missionary! how amazing it is that someone so young could be so excited about something the majority of the world would loath even the thought of. it's a miracle if you really think about it.
i am so grateful to be surrounded by these kinds of young men everywhere i go. they are the elite. and i can't wait until the day i get to marry one of them. they will make amazing fathers and husbands. their missions will only make them that much more amazing. wow. i look up to them more than they could ever know. i can't wait to see where the Lord sends them!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)