In alphabetical order: T

I think the best thing about me is my sense of thrifting: taking old things and making them happy and beautiful again. And who doesn't love a good bargain? 

There's something in the way mixed patterns and non matching furniture and mismatched things speak to me. I love a good "that doesn't go together" because it actually does. It's called art. And if you like the way it looks, then it looks good. 

Find happiness in awkward setups and black with brown and maybe some navy blue. There are so many rules to "fashion" and "decor"... But things look better when you break them ;) 

I dare you. 

Come find me

xx

A year ago today

A year ago today... 

I was at a flag football game. We called ourselves the "team moms"- we brought oranges and apples and juice boxes for half time. We cheered them on and we froze our behinds off. We cuddled in blankets and they gave us those genuine kinds of hugs. 

Was that really only a year ago? My goodness how time passes. One day you're cheering on your very best boys, and the next... 

You're cheering them on from thousands of miles away through emails and letters embellished with love and adoration, stamps and envelopes. 

This is to my best friends: 

I love you. 

xx

I'm allowing myself this time

I so respect those who are honest and straight up with me. Where they're true to who they are, and respect who I am. We can be two completely different souls, but there's still a mutual respect. 

I love people who love people despite what they believe in. 

It's so different this time, and I think that's why it's okay to like it. 

I want yellow sunflowers

I want yellow sunflowers and brick walls. White interiors and big windows. I want rain, and lots of it. I want views that make you stand in awe for hours. Specks of color and white comfy couches. I want to walk around in leggings, big slouchy sweaters and my hair in a braid. Mountains or hills, as long as they're green and lush. I want cool temperatures and rain puddles. I want a swing to sit next to you on, our knees touching and our hands intertwined. Big steaming cups of hot chocolate to hold with my hands with the sleeves creeping into my palms. I want book shelves. So many we have a room for them. And I want a white fire place. I want a wrap around porch to watch the rain fall. 

But most of all?

 I want yellow sunflowers. 

xx

800, 799, 798, 797...

It was fall break 2012. My family was on vacation, and I was left here to work. My mom said I wasn't allowed boys over, but of course I did it anyway. 

The day was spent listening to Mumford & Sons new album Babel, singing, cuddling, watching The Best Two Years, eating fudge and abnormally cheesy quesadillas. It was Friday Night Fight Night and the girls kicked the boys butts, even if they won't ever admit it. There was a broken toe, close encounters, and I was dying my hair in the bathroom. 

Three boys, three girls, and absolutely the best of friends. 

I remember sitting on the couch, listening to the boys sing and harmonize and thinking, does it get better than this? The orange trees, the crisp air, and three strapping young men laying on my floor singing? It can't. There's no way. But lucky for me, it did; it got better. Somehow they always made the next adventure better than the first. 

I remembered that today while I was running. We're coming up to that time of year in a few short weeks... Has it really been a year? Has that much changed? Are they really gone? 

When I can press "play" again in two years, we can pick up where we left off and play this growing up game together. Together in a way that wasnt possible before they left. 

I miss my big brothers. 

Because "healthy" doesn't cut it

Everyone tells me to chill out and have some cake. Live a little! Drink a soda once and a while. You're not going to explode if you have a few sweets. You're young! Enjoy it while you can! (Sounds like the modern day 'eat, drink, and be merry' if you ask me)

"We don't eat food anymore. We are eating food-like products." We are now eating foods that have been modified to have a longer shelf life and to give the human body a "high". Food is now made to look better, to smell better, and to taste better. 

But. 

It doesn't actually taste better. Your brain only THINKS it tastes good because the chemicals added to these foods are addictive. And very dangerous to the human body. 

In "Hungry for Change", a documentary on Netflix (one I recommend everyone go watch), they gave an interesting statistic regarding the fructose (extracted sugar from corn) we take in EACH DAY!:

1900's: the average person had 15g of fructose 

Present: the average person takes in 70-80g of fructose! EACH DAY!

And in some cases, primarily in teenagers, 120-150g are being added to our diets every day. 

Can you believe that?! Our sugar intake is literally 10X what it was a century ago. The following analogy was made between jet fuel and high fructose corn syrup: If you were to pour jet fuel into your cars engine, it would ruin your engine. That is exactly what this high fructose corn syrup does with our bodies. Jet fuel isn't meant for a car engine..

Problem: 

High fructose corn syrup is in almost anything you can buy; soda, "100% real fruit juice", salad dressing, bread, pizza sauce. Everything. Avoid the "isolates" and especially the high fructose corn syrup. Stay away from anything that is unnatural in the sense that it came partially from a plant, not wholly from the plant, which is how it was meant to be used. 

Another interesting tidbit of information I found alarming/ good to know, is what labels like "1/3 less fat" or "fat free" mean. When a container has a label like that, it usually means its loaded with sugar- more than usual. So it may not contain fat, but it has so much sugar in it that your body is going to store that sugar in your fat reserves for later, but there is no later; it's just stored as fat. No fat= more sugar= more fat. It's an oxymoron. 

The 0 calorie label also does something similar, but instead what it's lacking in calories, you make up for (and then some) in your craving of carbs. Interesting how that works, isn't it? Gotta love the food industry! The fluffy carbs you eat are almost immediately translated into sugar once you eat it. You may not be eating the crystallized sugar, but you are eating sugar. 

So how do you get rid of all this sugar? Get rid of the breads, pasta, pancakes, cereal, waffles, basically anything you eat for breakfast and go natural. Grab an apple, an orange, have a grapefruit (but don't add that sugar substitute, it's not saving your sugar intake, it's only going to add fat. Try salting it. Or better yet, tough out the sour). 

Per year/ per person:

79lbs of HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) 

150lbs of sugar 

22 tablespoons/day X 365 days

That's just gross. And there's nothing moderate about it. The more sugar we intake, the more prone to disease we become. Sugar is a drug just like alcohol is, just like cigarettes, and just like cocaine. 

We can't avoid sugar. We just can't. So instead of cutting all of this sugar out, add in the healthy stuff. Cut out some of the sugar and the processed food, but the most important thing is to ADD IN. pretty soon the good will out weigh the bad. 

So. When I'm offered a candy bar or a cinnamon roll, there's a reason I'm so hesitant. Not only is it clearly not good for me, but it also has a lot of hidden side effects that I don't even want to think about. 

Seriously. Go watch Hungry for Change. It's amazing. And a lot more uplifting towards the end ;) 

Thanks for listening to my rantings 

Chloe

xx

I won't be the boiling frog

Do you remember a time when you vowed you wouldn't fall? When you promised yourself you wouldn't be vulnerable because you knew what it was like? Do you remember a time like that? 

The great thing about here, on this blog, is everything written has a double meaning. Sure, it may be talking of the latest pet, the latest young man, or the latest upset. But it's also always talking of the past pets, the last young men, and the previous upsets. It's also talking of more than just those parallels. There are so many people in my life that can fit the way I write, to assume its straight about one person would be a huge mistake. Because it never is. 

Just... Don't forget that one time you said you wouldn't fall. It always ends the same way- unimportant, another past, previous, and another last. 

It's not fun feeling like that foolish girl you're afraid people think you are. And to know people actually think that way?- what a way to destroy trust even more. 

So here's another vow: to not falling, to not burning bridges, to not trusting the depths of myself to another person. Here's to being a clam. 

Chloe 

xx